I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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