there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
