You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i think my cat just said my name.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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