maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
