What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
