How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
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