Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
