Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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