Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
