I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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