i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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