I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
time to smoke my breakfast
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
how drunk are you?
Several
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
