Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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