The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
