i just wanna soil my oats bro
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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