First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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