dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
