just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
