It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
