Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
