If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Four minutes until I can fart!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
