wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
His hands were made for my vagina.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
