then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
