that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
