Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
