If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I'm really busy with my period
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