out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
