Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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