dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
