My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
