ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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