Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Drake has all the answers
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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