well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
