Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
