life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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