GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
