i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
