So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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