I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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