Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
