i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We left the knife in your bed.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm both gender and math confused
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
