Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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