Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Actions speak louder than pants.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
