if you like me you must not know who I am
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
