it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
