Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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