Porn is love you can see.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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