i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
