I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
