He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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