this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i will never coherently bang her
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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