I just pynch a tree in the face
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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