You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
