The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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