Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
