Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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